I came across the horoscope analysis on me, although I have the characteristic of my own sign – sun sign (“it tells us of the actual core of a person, the inner self, of that which is of central concern.”), there are also other factors contributing to why I was different from the fellow sign mates. The moon sign (“it represents our feelings and emotions, the receptivity, imagination and basic feeling tone of a person”) and the ascendant sign (“it tells us a lot about someone's personality, temperament and constitution. It typifies our immediate, instinctive reaction and shows how we present ourselves to the world.”)
So, I am a Taurus but feel like a Libra and appear to others like Cancer. Hum….. interesting, I am a combination of earth, air and water. No wonder, my friends claimed that I am a difficult person to understand. Interesting indeed.
I was told today that I am melancholic and I see life rather negatively; I am judgmental and I am not open-minded. I was kind of taken aback by this comment, especially from a friend whom I just knew. At first, I disagreed with her. After I have given some thoughts to what she said and checking with my closest friends, we agreed that I am melancholic. But a China friend disagreed with us, she claimed this: “如果你是悲观和忧郁，那就不会有孟姜女了” Well, she sees me differently. To her I am sanguine. Its kind of funny that I am percieved to be such extreme by different people.
I think a lot. I like to express my feeling in writings, music and paintings. In this case, I talk lesser but I love to listen to people’s conversations, I don’t mind them going on and on, although sometime I would space out a little while then I would go the cycle again, listen - think – music/ paint/ write. You can say, I love being in this state of melancholy, the greatest poets and songwriters were melancholic to start with. The language, the words were so perfectly; melancholically beautiful. It reflects one’s true self, especially when one is at the pit. Of course, there are many beautiful songs and poems on happy, joyful stuff, perhaps, I am more interested to explore otherwise.
Stubborn as a bull, but striking a balance like a scale, I am fortunate to have Christ. While discovering the darkest side of the world, I am giving praises to His glory that He made me whole. I am glad that I am able to feel these temperaments: melancholic, sanguine, choleric and phlegmatic. I guess that is the difference between having Christ and not having Christ in one’s life. My life is like a stress ball, no matter how much you twist and squeeze it; it will still go back to the original shape. He is my refuge, my shield, my strength. In fact, I am proud to be melancholic or anything I want to be because He makes good in everything.
The sermon at church today was so like tailor-made for me. Pastor preached on rest. Rest in God's presence. People of the world could not comprehen why we behave in certain ways. We just take a different approach in life. He mentioned a very funny parable: dogs always bark at the moon, no matter how long or how loud it barks, the moon continue to shine brightly. Eventually, the dogs will be tired and stop barking. He said we are like the moon, we might come across many incidents that we are so out of place among the norm that we may be perceived as somebody we are not. People judge us because they think we are judging. Matthew 7:3 "why do you look at the speck of saw dust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Well, Jesus may be addressing to brothers and sisters in Christ. But shouldn't the people of the world apply it too?
Well, I guess it takes some time for people to know my deep, mysterious, gentle quality, deep as the ocean. I promise, I will not hurt with my claws, I will be gentle…Crabbie…..
Posts
