Fei Fei personifies LOVE.

Wondering what interesting stories I would share today regarding Thursday party?
Well, I guess I have to disappoint you…….
My mind was so preoccupied with the death of my pet rabbit, Fei Fei (fat fat) that I was not interested in what happened in my surrounding.

The pet food ran out, so I was driving around to look for that particular brand that my rabbits love to eat. I love them very much although I hardly have time to play with them.
I keep them in my workplace’s pantry; it is comforting just to see them during breaktime. They always have this stupid blur or rather space out look. Especially my Fei Fei. Every part of him would be still except his little nose, moving up and down…. Breathing….
He would lie against his window, gazing into space, enjoying the sunlight, listening to me singing “Jesus loves me, yes I know, for the bible tells me so……..” His ears would tilt towards my direction and move to the pitch of my voice.

Last night, he seemed fine. He was eating his favorite food and he was happy, I could see that. I turned away for a second and heard him coughing, sneezing and vomiting. He was tying to clear his nose with his fore legs. He was choking. I carried him out of the cage; he was struggling and gasping for air. Usually I could hear his breathing but last night his nose was moving yet there was no sign of breathing. I held him and pray in the Spirit hoping he could recover soon. His body was weaker, he could not stand and eventually he collapsed. He was gasping but lied motionless, I could not feel his heartbeat and I was scared. “Please don’t die on me, Fei. Please…..” Panic as I was, I finally braved myself to suck out the yellow liquid from his mouth and nose. Nothing came out. I have leant CPR, but not on animals. I was so helpless. Holding his still warm body, I was shivering from the shock. He would usually struggle when I tried to hold him but this time; he lied still in my arms.

Fei Fei personifies LOVE. He is always there for you. You feel safe and secure; you drool soundly in your sleep knowing you have him. He gives you TLC, he brings laughter and joy. He is the cause that makes you smile stupidly to yourself. He is the reason you ran home that day right after work. He is the excuse you reported sick. He puts together your face muscles to frown when he is not behaving himself.

When he screamed, you attended to him. When he “shit on your head” you forgave him. When he scratched you, you healed you own wounds. When you want to hold him, he shows you his backside. When you thought you have missed him, he is right at your feet. He likes to play hide and seek with you.
And you thought you have managed him well; providing foodie, toys and your presence. When he is leaving you, you desperately tried means and ways to save him. When he is really gone, you finally gave up, wipe your tears and move on.

Sigh……………bye bye Fei Fei……………….

(Ylang Ylang is burning……….. It soothes my migraine……… Hum…………..But, it has aphrodisiacal effect too, right? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)