Miss you..... very much still

Wan,

I saw your first love, K.L, in a restaurant at Railway mall. He sounded the same, except alittle husky.

You came into my mind, does he know that you have left this world.......? Does he know that you once loved him so much? Does he know that you once weeped so painfully when he left you?

Does he know that when you first saw Francis, you were on her mind? Does he know that Francis, the man you eventually married, sounds like him too and their mannerism seem similar?

You have brought these answers with you and I am holding on to these answers as the seal to our friendship.

I miss you very much still..... even though you departed so long ago..... I still do......

Ready to go?

It was a long day for me. In one and half hour time, I will be successfully kept myself awake for 24 hours.

A woman got to do what a woman got to do – preserve. Wahahahaha

I am very grateful for Wing and Pammy for helping me move all the things to the new place. If I were to do it alone, it would have taken me 100 trips back and forth.

The little corner of the room is cozy and on the contrary, adjacent to this cozy corner, is a mess, which got to be cleared as soon. Don’t our lives also experiencing part goodness, part messiness?

Have been thinking about a statement made from CS at LM this morning. She was sharing that life is full of trials and sorrow, many things to worry about and life indeed is very tough. She mentioned that if Jesus’s 2nd coming in now, she is ready to go. I guess most of us would have nurture this thought sometime in our life.

Am I really ready to go? Does God think that I am ready to go? How ready is ready? Is the “readiness” an escape from the never-ending trials or a graduation of much victorious endurance life provides?

“I am ready to go” exudes a negative vibe or a positive aspiration. Who determines which is which and at which intensity. Does it exude a right attitude or a wrong perception?

As I am writing this blog, my iPhone has just went wacky, leaving me in the lurch with no Internet access and causing a rush of panics into this quiet night. In a sudden realization, there is no alarm clock to wake me up for church, sending the sense of helplessness and chased away my peace.

Such dependency on gadgets and Internet has left me paralyzed. As I reject this feeling of paralysis, I embrace the comfort from God’s promises I learnt from the Book of Isaiah. I am depending on a God that will not “ditch” me in any situation. He is unlimited and unchangeable. He is my NOW and FUTURE.

Whether I am “ready to go” or not, I have already gained. Thank you Daddy God.

What do You want me to do?

Your Spirit says "go ahead" but I dun feel the intensity as much as the moment You planted the thoughts in my mind.
Why is it so? When I pen down, I suddenly feel very much lost for words.

Must I say it face to face? Is that why?

Gosh... spare me pls....

Serenity Prayer

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen."

I usually come across the first part of prayer and God just prompted me to google this prayer. To my surprise.... The whole prayer pops out... Just so timely.... Just when I struggle to submit to His will, He promised He will make things right and ask me to trust Him. I like the idea that I will be supremely happy with Him forever in the next. He is greater than my fears and worries. Living one day at a time- that is all He wants me to do, to enjoy every moment each day, every minute...every melody, every sound, each spectrum of colour, every breath every heartbeat.

Praise God!!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!